When Your Mother's Heart Becomes the Enemy...
I have always (well, since becoming a mother) been proud of my fierce momma's heart. I love my kids (all three: Jon, David and Ash) passionately and make no apologies for it - NONE. After all, God gave this heart - the roots of which are in His own character. He fiercely looks after His own (Please read Psalm 18).
I thank the Lord for the gift of my children. They are such blessings from Him. That He chose me to steward their hearts leaves me in complete awe.
But, is it possible that my momma's heart could become my "enemy"? (Enemy: something that harms or threatens someone.) Yes - I do believe it can. As a matter of fact I do believe it has at times.
"How?", you ask...
If I can't release my kids into my Savior's care...
If I can't entrust them to Him...
If I can't say, "Thy will be done"...
If I have a death-grip on my worries over them...
If I can't live in peace because of all the "what-ifs" floating around...
Then, my momma's heart has indeed become my enemy.
It is my enemy because it is harming my relationship with my Father. It is causing me to hold tightly to something I'm supposed to be trusting Him with - my kids. What a struggle for this momma!
I didn't struggle like this when my kids were young and I could send them to their room or hug them tight if things went crazy. Now that they are grown, out in the world, and making their own decisions the challenge has increased by leaps and bounds. My trust in the Lord, for their care, is ever challenged - ever growing. I would contend that parenting adult children is more difficult than parenting young ones.
I can already hear the voices of opposition to what I have stated here. "but Jacqui, God gave them to you"..."but Jacqui, that's what mom's do - we worry". To these voices I say...
As a believer it is not an option for me to allow my worry for my kids - my lack of ability to leave them in God's keeping - to stand between me and the Father. I offer to you that doing this can be a form of idol worship. "Jacqui, NO!", you say..... Oh YEAH! That is exactly what it can turn into.
Let's break it down a bit. One of the definitions for the word idol is: a false conception or notion; fallacy. Fallacy means: a deceptive, misleading, or false notion, belief, etc. Based on this information I offer you this:
If I am worrying myself sick about my kids, I am believing that I am the only one who can truly watch over them.
If I can't say, "Thy will be done", I'm not believing that He has good plans for them.
If I can't live in peace because of all the "what-ifs", I'm not believing that He has all the answers - to everything - that he already knows the outcome and has planned accordingly.
If I can't release them into His care, I'm believing that He won't take care of them.
If I can't entrust them to Him, I'm believing that He is not trustworthy.
ALL OF THESE BELIEFS ARE FALSE!!! As a believer there is NO room in my heart for beliefs like this. Anything that doesn't line up with the truth of His word and His character has to be eradicated from my life.
Now, for all you over-protective moms out there. I'm sure these statements make your heart catch a bit. Giving your kiddos to the Lord doesn't mean you aren't doing your job as their mom. What it does mean is that you are allowing the One Who has amazing plans for them, Who loves them more than you ever could, Who knows what the future holds, Who is the most trustworthy of all, Who cares for them like the loving Father He is, Who watches over them every second of every day to be in complete control. For your kiddos, and mine, there is no better place to be.
For me - It is a constant turning back over of my kids to Him. Just about the time I have this trust thing down something else pops up and knocks me for a loop. So as we work to trust Him with our kiddos, let's remember this verse:
Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."
Let's make sure we aren't being grouped in the category of people who can't repent, rest, be in quiet and trust. That is not a place you want to be. Instead, when we find ourselves in the place of holding tightly to our kids:
Repent - Of your desire to take care of them yourself, of your worry over them, of your lack of trust in the Lord.
Rest - In the One Who has it ALL covered.
Be in quiet - (OOO... this one can be tough for us) Let your mind be in Christ and be at peace. This truly is possible. I've actually experienced it a few times and I'm left knowing it is all HIM, but it is nothing like what I normally do.
Trust - He truly does hold our kids and have good plans for them.
You can do it! We can do it!!!
Lord, help us trust you with our kids, and forgive us for the times that we don't - the times we try to do it all on our own. Help us to walk in peaceful, contentedness knowing you have our kids tucked close in beside you. Amen.
I thank the Lord for the gift of my children. They are such blessings from Him. That He chose me to steward their hearts leaves me in complete awe.
But, is it possible that my momma's heart could become my "enemy"? (Enemy: something that harms or threatens someone.) Yes - I do believe it can. As a matter of fact I do believe it has at times.
"How?", you ask...
If I can't release my kids into my Savior's care...
If I can't entrust them to Him...
If I can't say, "Thy will be done"...
If I have a death-grip on my worries over them...
If I can't live in peace because of all the "what-ifs" floating around...
Then, my momma's heart has indeed become my enemy.
It is my enemy because it is harming my relationship with my Father. It is causing me to hold tightly to something I'm supposed to be trusting Him with - my kids. What a struggle for this momma!
I didn't struggle like this when my kids were young and I could send them to their room or hug them tight if things went crazy. Now that they are grown, out in the world, and making their own decisions the challenge has increased by leaps and bounds. My trust in the Lord, for their care, is ever challenged - ever growing. I would contend that parenting adult children is more difficult than parenting young ones.
I can already hear the voices of opposition to what I have stated here. "but Jacqui, God gave them to you"..."but Jacqui, that's what mom's do - we worry". To these voices I say...
As a believer it is not an option for me to allow my worry for my kids - my lack of ability to leave them in God's keeping - to stand between me and the Father. I offer to you that doing this can be a form of idol worship. "Jacqui, NO!", you say..... Oh YEAH! That is exactly what it can turn into.
Let's break it down a bit. One of the definitions for the word idol is: a false conception or notion; fallacy. Fallacy means: a deceptive, misleading, or false notion, belief, etc. Based on this information I offer you this:
If I am worrying myself sick about my kids, I am believing that I am the only one who can truly watch over them.
If I can't say, "Thy will be done", I'm not believing that He has good plans for them.
If I can't live in peace because of all the "what-ifs", I'm not believing that He has all the answers - to everything - that he already knows the outcome and has planned accordingly.
If I can't release them into His care, I'm believing that He won't take care of them.
If I can't entrust them to Him, I'm believing that He is not trustworthy.
ALL OF THESE BELIEFS ARE FALSE!!! As a believer there is NO room in my heart for beliefs like this. Anything that doesn't line up with the truth of His word and His character has to be eradicated from my life.
Now, for all you over-protective moms out there. I'm sure these statements make your heart catch a bit. Giving your kiddos to the Lord doesn't mean you aren't doing your job as their mom. What it does mean is that you are allowing the One Who has amazing plans for them, Who loves them more than you ever could, Who knows what the future holds, Who is the most trustworthy of all, Who cares for them like the loving Father He is, Who watches over them every second of every day to be in complete control. For your kiddos, and mine, there is no better place to be.
For me - It is a constant turning back over of my kids to Him. Just about the time I have this trust thing down something else pops up and knocks me for a loop. So as we work to trust Him with our kiddos, let's remember this verse:
Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."
Let's make sure we aren't being grouped in the category of people who can't repent, rest, be in quiet and trust. That is not a place you want to be. Instead, when we find ourselves in the place of holding tightly to our kids:
Repent - Of your desire to take care of them yourself, of your worry over them, of your lack of trust in the Lord.
Rest - In the One Who has it ALL covered.
Be in quiet - (OOO... this one can be tough for us) Let your mind be in Christ and be at peace. This truly is possible. I've actually experienced it a few times and I'm left knowing it is all HIM, but it is nothing like what I normally do.
Trust - He truly does hold our kids and have good plans for them.
You can do it! We can do it!!!
Lord, help us trust you with our kids, and forgive us for the times that we don't - the times we try to do it all on our own. Help us to walk in peaceful, contentedness knowing you have our kids tucked close in beside you. Amen.
