How can you mend a broken (sensitive) heart...or should you...
In Ezekiel 36 the Lord tells His people that He will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. A heart of stone is impenetrable; you can't hurt it... its hard and cold, protected, cynical and unfeeling. A heart of flesh is sensitive and susceptible to hurt and harm, and can feel ALL OF THE FEELINGS. Hurt and harm doesn't sound fun; feelings are ok, as long as they are the good kind. So why is it so important that this take place in the hearts of the people of God? A little self-protection is ok, right?
It is important to note here that there is a difference between self-protection and wisdom. We all need God-given wisdom as we walk through life, but I challenge, on some level, the concept of self-protection. (I know, shocker... right??? You guys are used to me saying things like this by now, I'm sure.)
Since I was a little girl (and most likely since I was conceived) I have had a sensitive heart. I know things, feel things and have the ability to empathize with people on a level that, quite honestly, is uncomfortable sometimes (a lot of times). This is the way God made me. I can't not be this way... I've tried. "What???", you say... let me tell you.
My parents divorced when I was 30 (I hate divorce! I can easily get up on my soapbox and speak of how terrible it is and it's far reaching consequences for ANYONE WHO EVER KNEW THE COUPLE, but I'm not going to do that here today), and it rocked my world - in a big way. I wanted to hate and be bitter and unforgiving and resentful and ALL OF THINGS that turn one's heart into a heart of stone. I really wanted to be...really.
Then one day...
As I was ranting (yes, ranting) at the Lord about how unfair my plight was in this whole situation, He brought me up short - as He is so good at doing. He told me, in His gentle way with me (us with sensitive hearts need gentle handling - we just do. We don't respond - at all - to harsh treatment), that I was wrong. He told me that if I couldn't forgive (and extend mercy), He couldn't do that for me. (see Matthew 6:14) My heart nearly seized in my chest! I wanted forgiveness! And so began the journey back into sensitivity.
My heart feels so many things - even my cardiologist says it extra-sensitive. I feel deeply...love deeply...value others deeply. I think about how my actions and words are going to impact people before I act or speak, because it would hurt me to hurt someone else. (This doesn't mean I don't say hard things when needed, but when I do you can bet that they have been prayed over and I have sought the Lord about it long before a word was said.)
I've been thinking about my heart lately and how sensitive it is. You see, in the last several weeks I have had my oldest son AND two dear friends (young people that Steve and I have loved on for a while now - and they have loved on us) deploy to parts unknown with the military (and I MISS them!). This has been very hard on my heart. Also, my beautiful daughter-in-law and precious grand baby have been without their husband and father, which has been hard on my heart. AND my youngest son is struggling with the unknowns that comes with graduating with your degree, and that has been hard on my heart. There are so many things I could add to this list, but I'm not going to - I'm sure you get the point.
As I have been pondering all of these things (and all of the other things), the thought crossed my mind that if I was a little closed off or my heart wasn't so sensitive these things wouldn't hurt so much. And that, my friends, is a fact. Almost as soon as that thought crossed my mind, though, my sweet, sensitive heart rose up in objection.
Here is why:
While the pain is deep and real and must be handled inside the grace of God, I would miss so many amazing things if I allowed myself to be closed off, guarded and less sensitive. Like...
- an amazing, deep, real relationship with all of my kids. (I love all 4 of them - my boys, daughter-in-law and granddaughter - passionately.)
- beautiful friends that God chooses to place in our lives at the right time, and the amazing relationships, laced with memories that are forever, that come with them.
- the ability to truly walk alongside people in their pain - and hurt with them. As weird as this may sound, this truly is a gift.
- and so many other things...
So I will keep my sensitive heart and nurture it and entrust it to the Lord. I trust He knew what He was doing when He gave it to me.
And this, dear ones, brings me back to the top few lines of this post...
Why is it important to have a heart of flesh - a sensitive heart? Because, dear ones, that is what the Father's heart looks like, and we are supposed to look like Him. When we are sensitive we can listen better to His voice, and be His love extend to those around us. We can forgive and love and embrace others where they are. We can be His light in the darkness and draw folks into relationship with Him. That is what we are supposed to be doing!
A heart of stone - a cynical heart that has nothing but negativity flowing from it - can do NONE OF THE THINGS that He has called us to do here.
It is up to each of us to examine our hearts, along with the Holy Spirit, to see what state they are in. Where is yours? What does it look like? Is it as heart of stone or a heart of flesh? Are there corners that are starting to harden because of what life has dealt you? Even those areas can be renewed through Him - with His healing touch.
Yes, dear ones, sometimes a sensitive heart is truly painful, but it is ALWAYS worth maintaining! The rewards are boundless. Let Him be the one that protects it and heals it when needed (don't take that task on yourself) - and love big! Be all in with those around you.
Much love.
It is important to note here that there is a difference between self-protection and wisdom. We all need God-given wisdom as we walk through life, but I challenge, on some level, the concept of self-protection. (I know, shocker... right??? You guys are used to me saying things like this by now, I'm sure.)
Since I was a little girl (and most likely since I was conceived) I have had a sensitive heart. I know things, feel things and have the ability to empathize with people on a level that, quite honestly, is uncomfortable sometimes (a lot of times). This is the way God made me. I can't not be this way... I've tried. "What???", you say... let me tell you.
My parents divorced when I was 30 (I hate divorce! I can easily get up on my soapbox and speak of how terrible it is and it's far reaching consequences for ANYONE WHO EVER KNEW THE COUPLE, but I'm not going to do that here today), and it rocked my world - in a big way. I wanted to hate and be bitter and unforgiving and resentful and ALL OF THINGS that turn one's heart into a heart of stone. I really wanted to be...really.
Then one day...
As I was ranting (yes, ranting) at the Lord about how unfair my plight was in this whole situation, He brought me up short - as He is so good at doing. He told me, in His gentle way with me (us with sensitive hearts need gentle handling - we just do. We don't respond - at all - to harsh treatment), that I was wrong. He told me that if I couldn't forgive (and extend mercy), He couldn't do that for me. (see Matthew 6:14) My heart nearly seized in my chest! I wanted forgiveness! And so began the journey back into sensitivity.
My heart feels so many things - even my cardiologist says it extra-sensitive. I feel deeply...love deeply...value others deeply. I think about how my actions and words are going to impact people before I act or speak, because it would hurt me to hurt someone else. (This doesn't mean I don't say hard things when needed, but when I do you can bet that they have been prayed over and I have sought the Lord about it long before a word was said.)
I've been thinking about my heart lately and how sensitive it is. You see, in the last several weeks I have had my oldest son AND two dear friends (young people that Steve and I have loved on for a while now - and they have loved on us) deploy to parts unknown with the military (and I MISS them!). This has been very hard on my heart. Also, my beautiful daughter-in-law and precious grand baby have been without their husband and father, which has been hard on my heart. AND my youngest son is struggling with the unknowns that comes with graduating with your degree, and that has been hard on my heart. There are so many things I could add to this list, but I'm not going to - I'm sure you get the point.
As I have been pondering all of these things (and all of the other things), the thought crossed my mind that if I was a little closed off or my heart wasn't so sensitive these things wouldn't hurt so much. And that, my friends, is a fact. Almost as soon as that thought crossed my mind, though, my sweet, sensitive heart rose up in objection.
Here is why:
While the pain is deep and real and must be handled inside the grace of God, I would miss so many amazing things if I allowed myself to be closed off, guarded and less sensitive. Like...
- an amazing, deep, real relationship with all of my kids. (I love all 4 of them - my boys, daughter-in-law and granddaughter - passionately.)
- beautiful friends that God chooses to place in our lives at the right time, and the amazing relationships, laced with memories that are forever, that come with them.
- the ability to truly walk alongside people in their pain - and hurt with them. As weird as this may sound, this truly is a gift.
- and so many other things...
So I will keep my sensitive heart and nurture it and entrust it to the Lord. I trust He knew what He was doing when He gave it to me.
And this, dear ones, brings me back to the top few lines of this post...
Why is it important to have a heart of flesh - a sensitive heart? Because, dear ones, that is what the Father's heart looks like, and we are supposed to look like Him. When we are sensitive we can listen better to His voice, and be His love extend to those around us. We can forgive and love and embrace others where they are. We can be His light in the darkness and draw folks into relationship with Him. That is what we are supposed to be doing!
A heart of stone - a cynical heart that has nothing but negativity flowing from it - can do NONE OF THE THINGS that He has called us to do here.
It is up to each of us to examine our hearts, along with the Holy Spirit, to see what state they are in. Where is yours? What does it look like? Is it as heart of stone or a heart of flesh? Are there corners that are starting to harden because of what life has dealt you? Even those areas can be renewed through Him - with His healing touch.
Yes, dear ones, sometimes a sensitive heart is truly painful, but it is ALWAYS worth maintaining! The rewards are boundless. Let Him be the one that protects it and heals it when needed (don't take that task on yourself) - and love big! Be all in with those around you.
Much love.
