Equal, but not the same...

It's been a while since I've made a post, and for good reason. In August I started an unexpected journey into seminary. It is one I never dreamed of, but God opened the doors in ways that only He can - so I walked through them. I'm now pursuing my Masters in Applied Bible and Theology. It has been an exhilarating and terrifying ride, but oh so good! In my first semester I'm taking the two hardest classes of my degree: Intro to New Testament and Christian Ethics. What a ride it has been!

When God called me into ministry in 2000, I promptly told Him that I couldn't be in ministry because He made me a girl, and girls can't be leaders in ministry. To this He told me that I should read His word and get back to Him on the subject. 

Up to this point in my life I was, as my upbringing had dictated, a strong complementarian. What exactly does that mean?

www.theopedia.com defines it like this:

• A generally patriarchal view of the family (the father is responsible to lead, provide for, teach his children to know and love God) as found in Scripture.
• Belief that a Christian husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church
• Belief that a Christian wife should submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ
• Belief that God designed marriage to reflect the relationship of Jesus Christ and the Church
• Belief that only men should be appointed into authoritative positions of leadership in the church

It's that last point, specifically, that had me hung up on where to go with the call of God on my life. I was raised to believe that the only thing a woman could do in the church was sing in the choir, teach children and other women (sometimes), or do admin work. My call into ministry didn't fit into any of those categories. It was a massive internal conflict. So what did I do? 

I got in the Word. For two years I studied every woman in scripture. I discovered who they were and what roles they played. Quite a few of them were leadership roles! What? Maybe the church had gotten it wrong? Maybe...

Then I reached out to all of the famous, female bible teachers I could thing of (back in 2000) and asked them a bunch of questions. Surprisingly, most of them replied to my request for knowledge. It was a sweet time of discovery. I could actually walk in the call God had placed on my life! It was freeing, and a little bit scary! 

In the last twenty years I've become an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God and have been serving in a pastoral role on a church staff for quite some time. I have also been called all manner of bad names because I have the nerve to walk out my call. As a woman in ministry, one who was raised in a ironclad complementarian family (many of which still hold firmly to their beliefs, and that is fine), I've had to know what I know. I don't have to justified my call or defend it, but I do have to rest in the knowledge that I am called and that His Word provides the foundation for that call. 

A side note: When I am confronted about being a woman pastor (thankfully over the years that has deceased a bit), I have two things to say:

1) Women need women pastors. The church is about 55-60% WOMEN. They need someone who can see things through the same filters they do. My friends who are male pastors will never be able to fully do this. Men and women are wired DIFFERENTLY.

2) One day I'm going to stand before my Father and give an account for my life. The nay sayers are NOT going to be beside me for me to point my finger at and say, "they didn't like it, so I didn't do what you asked." They won't be there. I will have to give an account... only me. I want to be able to say I did all of the things He asked me to do - no matter the opposition. 

So where does this leave me with complementarianism? Before I answer that, I want to explain another view point. One that the Assemblies of God, who I am ordained through, holds to (as does my New Testament professor at Asbury Theological Seminary) - Egalitarianism. What does that mean?

Back to www.theopedia.com

• Belief that the Bible teaches the full equality of men and women in Creation and in Redemption. Both man and woman were created in God’s image, had a direct relationship with God, and shared jointly the responsibilities of bearing and rearing children and having dominion over the created order.
• Belief that both woman and man were created for full and equal partnership. The word “helper” (ezer) used to designate woman in Genesis 2:18 refers to God in most instances of Old Testament usage (e.g,. 1 Sam 7:12; Ps 121:1-2). Consequently, the word conveys no implication whatsoever of female subordination or inferiority.
• Belief that man and woman were co-participants in the Fall: Adam was no less culpable than Eve.
• Belief that husbands and wives are joint heirs together of the grace of life and that they are bound together in a relationship of mutual submission and responsibility.
• Belief that both mothers and fathers are to exercise leadership in the nurture, training, discipline and teaching of their children.
• Belief that roles in the church and home are to be gift-based rather than gender-based.

Well all that sounds pretty good, doesn't? Women have been fighting for equal rights for a very long time - everywhere. Those who haven't fought for equal rights think there is no such thing as equal rights for women. Which is a little sad. (stay with me here... don't leave yet!) 

In a recent term paper for my New Testament class titled The Impacts of a Patriarchal Society on Women: Jesus' Answer To the Issue I called Jesus "The Great Equalizer", and that is what He was. The first century was a highly patriarchal society. Women had almost no rights at all. What few rights they did have they had to fight for. They were not listened to, and were forced to live out obvious double-standards (example: Their morality had to be pristine, but a man could play fast and loose with his. Their life depended on this, a man's didn't. Think about the woman accused of adultery. The man was nowhere to be found. This is just one example.). But Jesus worked to change that. But how? He didn't hold marches or tell women to forsake their families. What He did was invite them into the conversations; He allowed them into His teaching; He allowed them to follow Him as disciples; He allowed them to participate in ministry. The women who followed Jesus were faithful to Him, even after His death. (I need to preface my next statement with - I am not an ultra-feminist man-hater. I'm just stating what happened) While the guy disciples were hiding out after Jesus' death, the women were boots on the ground working to take care of our Lord. The result of their faithfulness to Him was that they were the first ones commissioned by Jesus to tell the Good News of His resurrection! What it comes down to is that Jesus led all of His disciples in the manner He wanted wanted us to lead in, and that meant that women were given a seat at the table.

Ok. Where do I fall in all of this? 

I propose there is a spectrum instead of one or the other. I cannot cleanly define myself as either a complementarian or an egalitarian. I'm somewhere in the middle. Here it is in bullet points for you:

Complementing Equally:

• A generally patriarchal view of the family as found in Scripture.
• Belief that a Christian husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church; and the wife should respect her husband and laid out in scripture.
• Belief that God designed marriage to reflect the relationship of Jesus Christ and the Church
• Belief that the Bible teaches the full equality of men and women in Creation and in Redemption. Both man and woman were created in God’s image, had a direct relationship with God, and shared jointly the responsibilities of bearing and rearing children and having dominion over the created order.
• Belief that both woman and man were created for full and equal partnership. The word “helper” (ezer) used to designate woman in Genesis 2:18 refers to God in most instances of Old Testament usage (e.g,. 1 Sam 7:12; Ps 121:1-2). Consequently, the word conveys no implication whatsoever of female subordination or inferiority.
• Belief that man and woman were co-participants in the Fall: Adam was no less culpable than Eve.
• Belief that husbands and wives are joint heirs together of the grace of life and that they are bound together in a relationship of mutual submission and responsibility.
• Belief that both mothers and fathers are to exercise leadership in the nurture, training, discipline and teaching of their children.
• Belief that roles in the church and home are to be gift-based rather than gender-based.
• With one except: based on years of study, I believe that the role of lead pastor of a church was reserved for a man. BUT all other roles are open, to include a campus pastor of a larger network of churches, to women in ministry. 

How does this flesh itself out in the life of a female minister? To see this we need to look at my two key responsibilities and the organization chart I have established for myself, which lines up with what I believe scripture says about this. 

The first area is our home. We are a military family, so we have a clear understanding of the fact that there always needs to be a chain of command. With this in mind, we taught our boys this: Dad is the Commanding Officer, Mom is the Executive Officer and they are the enlisted folks. This means: Dad has the ultimate say in all things, but takes counsel from mom. Mom makes sure the house runs like a well-oiled machine (back in the day when my sole responsibility was our home - I didn't start working until the boys were big). The boys do what they are told respectfully. There always has to be a place where the buck stops; a place where someone gets the final say. Does this mean I'm less than? Absolutely not! My voice is heard. But at the end of the day, the God's eyes Steve is the head of our home. He is the one who will bare full responsibility for us before God. I'm happy to let him carry that, while helping him along the way. We both have our jobs to do, and if we both pull at 100% everything is going to get done as it should. 

The second area is that as a minister of the Gospel in full time ministry. Here again, there has to be a chain of command. In this arena, Steve is still the top of the chain. I would not be able to be in full time ministry without his support. It just couldn't happen. So before I launch into any new area, he is the first one I talk to. I pour it all out to make sure I'm thinking about it correctly. Next in line is my senior pastor (then any subsequent oversights under him), then me. Having a covering is a beautiful thing.

There are a few different things we need to be aware of in order to be able to operate well in this space. One of the biggest keys is approaching these things from a place of submission - as scripture says we should, as well as realizing that God's way of doing things is almost never the world's way of doing things. When done correctly submitting to one another in love is an act of freedom - not bondage. I can be free to do what I need to do in all of my roles because I know that those I've placed my trust in are doing what they need to do in theirs. In order to be able to do these things though, we have to be in a place where we are trusting God AND His order and way of doing things. We also need to be comfortable in our own skin and in the things He has called us to do. All of these things work together to make everything in our realms run successfully! 

Complementing equally is not about competing with someone else for being the boss. It is about being the puzzle piece God has created you to be and fitting in your spot to make the whole picture complete.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, dear ones. Drop me a comment below.