Do Justice...
In life everything we do has consequences - everything. Sometimes the consequences of our actions are postive (we like these), and sometimes they are negative (these...not so much). I worked to instill this fact into my boys as I raised them. I can't count the number of times I told them that they would face the consequences of their actions. I told them that I would be there with them on the journey of facing them, but they would face them - and that is how it has been. At times it is very hard, as a parent, to have to walk with your children as they face the consequences of their actions, but in doing so they learn some things. They learn the lesson (hopefully) that they need to learn, and that you will always be there for them - no matter what.
Over the last 4 months I have had the lamentable (there's a word for you!) privilege of walking out one of the most horrific things with friends that I have ever been witness to.
NOTE: I received permission to share this with you.
The Friday after Thanksgiving 2019 my husband, youngest son and I were on our way back to Colorado from a trip home to see family for the holiday. We were about 6 hours out when I received a phone call from one of my fellow pastors at the church where I am on staff. I was told that one of my families had entered into an arena no one ever wants to be in. But before I tell you what, a little back story is needed...
Steve and I started a while ago what we lovingly referred to as "Family Dinner" for a few military folks (as you know, they are near and dear to my heart). We had a few regulars. This family I'm going to tell you about and a young couple who are dating. We met each week. The food was always themed and the evenings were never planned. There were nerf wars, movies, games, talking, seeing Christmas lights, etc. It was a sweet time, and I miss it. It dissolved through the course of events that I'm about to describe with this family, and through deployments of the young couple (prayers for all appreciated).
So this family was one of mine, and as such I entered into this unwanted arena with them. Here is part of my perspective on what happened.
When I took the phone call from my pastor friend, I was told that the husband had nearly beaten his wife to death. I was told that she was badly bruised and had a brain bleed. I was told that I needed to brace myself for what I was going to witness when I got home. Those words did nothing to prepare me for what I saw. In the phone call I was also told that her husband, also my friend, was in jail for what he had done.
As soon as I got home, I went straight to her. The sight of my friend left me feeling ill and completely shaken. I did not recognize her - her face was completely changed from the beating she had received. It was stunning. She also had other injuries, internally (in her heart and mind) and externally (in her body).
The months that have followed have been a roller coster ride on many different levels. There has been great sadness, terror, and pain, but there has also been laughter, joy and grace for the journey. I've had a front row seat to all of this, and it has had a significant impact on me.
Yesterday, April 14, 2020, one of the chapters in their story ended. The husband was sentenced for the crime against his wife, taken into custody and booked into the Department of Corrections for the next 5 years. As I have been for many of the court appearances (and there have been a lot) I was there, but this time instead of just being a support I had an active role.
I was asked to give an impact statement. In this statement I was to tell how this situation had effected me and what I hoped would be the result of my statement.
I'm going to be completely honest with you - the prospect of this did not make me excited. It made me feel like I swallowed a rock, and made my heart race. It was not fun - I took no pleasure in it at all. Even sitting here typing this post makes me feel ill, but I have learned some things over the last few days that I want to share with you.
As I sat down to write the letter the word "JUSTICE" came to me, and has stuck with me. Our God is as much about justice as He is about love. He needed me to write my letter, so that justice could happen (I'm not saying it all hinged on my letter - I'm just saying He needs His kids to hold these spaces at times). He needs people who take things like this VERY seriously ... who feel the full wait of what they are doing ... who can feel compassion for the guilty while demanding justice be served to the victim. That is who He is... That is who He needs His kids to be. That is the space I held this week.
As I stood before the judge to read my letter, there were tears in my eyes as I requested that appropriate consequences be given to the husband for his actions. My heart was (and is) truly broken over all that has happened. JUSTICE was demanded and was given to my friend who never asked for what she was given. There are no winners here. There is nothing beautiful about this story - yet (I believe there will be one day). In that moment the Father showed me something...
That is how He feels when we must bare the consequences of our actions - our sin. His heart breaks. He feels (I believe) that same physical reaction that my body felt in that moment. In that moment the whole of my being was screaming. I didn't want any of it to be reality, but it was - and because it was, JUSTICE was demanded. That heartbreak is what drove Jesus to the cross for us.
Jesus knew that the consequences for our actions would be eternal separation from Him, and that wasn't acceptable. When JUSTICE was demanded for our actions - our sins, He took our consequences for us - death. He loves us so much that it was preferable to Him to take our place than to be separated from us forever. He wants us! His love for us required that He take our place. (If you don't know Him yet, I'd love to introduce you! He's been waiting for you.) This knowledge leaves me completely undone and in awe of Him - all over again.
A couple of more thoughts...
Micah 6:8 says, "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
This verse as been playing over and over in my mind the last 48 hours. I've walked in out in ways I never dreamed I would... "do JUSTICE". I have a much cleared understanding of its meaning, and it's a humbling thing - one that I do not take lightly.
It is my sincerest hope that healing happens in my friend's lives that have been shattered; that years from now everyone involved will be able to look back and see God's hand at work. I'm looking forward to seeing the beauty He brings of it all - if it is allowed to happen (free will is still at play here). My prayers are with them.
Friends, I know that this post is a lot heavier that some of my other ones, but sometimes life is heavy. But even in this space, He is here. I felt the full weight of the task at hand, but was not afraid because I'm His kid and I was doing what He needed me to do. As He always does, He gave me what I needed when I needed it to do what needed to be done - He will do the same for you.
Much love.
Over the last 4 months I have had the lamentable (there's a word for you!) privilege of walking out one of the most horrific things with friends that I have ever been witness to.
NOTE: I received permission to share this with you.
The Friday after Thanksgiving 2019 my husband, youngest son and I were on our way back to Colorado from a trip home to see family for the holiday. We were about 6 hours out when I received a phone call from one of my fellow pastors at the church where I am on staff. I was told that one of my families had entered into an arena no one ever wants to be in. But before I tell you what, a little back story is needed...
Steve and I started a while ago what we lovingly referred to as "Family Dinner" for a few military folks (as you know, they are near and dear to my heart). We had a few regulars. This family I'm going to tell you about and a young couple who are dating. We met each week. The food was always themed and the evenings were never planned. There were nerf wars, movies, games, talking, seeing Christmas lights, etc. It was a sweet time, and I miss it. It dissolved through the course of events that I'm about to describe with this family, and through deployments of the young couple (prayers for all appreciated).
So this family was one of mine, and as such I entered into this unwanted arena with them. Here is part of my perspective on what happened.
When I took the phone call from my pastor friend, I was told that the husband had nearly beaten his wife to death. I was told that she was badly bruised and had a brain bleed. I was told that I needed to brace myself for what I was going to witness when I got home. Those words did nothing to prepare me for what I saw. In the phone call I was also told that her husband, also my friend, was in jail for what he had done.
As soon as I got home, I went straight to her. The sight of my friend left me feeling ill and completely shaken. I did not recognize her - her face was completely changed from the beating she had received. It was stunning. She also had other injuries, internally (in her heart and mind) and externally (in her body).
The months that have followed have been a roller coster ride on many different levels. There has been great sadness, terror, and pain, but there has also been laughter, joy and grace for the journey. I've had a front row seat to all of this, and it has had a significant impact on me.
Yesterday, April 14, 2020, one of the chapters in their story ended. The husband was sentenced for the crime against his wife, taken into custody and booked into the Department of Corrections for the next 5 years. As I have been for many of the court appearances (and there have been a lot) I was there, but this time instead of just being a support I had an active role.
I was asked to give an impact statement. In this statement I was to tell how this situation had effected me and what I hoped would be the result of my statement.
I'm going to be completely honest with you - the prospect of this did not make me excited. It made me feel like I swallowed a rock, and made my heart race. It was not fun - I took no pleasure in it at all. Even sitting here typing this post makes me feel ill, but I have learned some things over the last few days that I want to share with you.
As I sat down to write the letter the word "JUSTICE" came to me, and has stuck with me. Our God is as much about justice as He is about love. He needed me to write my letter, so that justice could happen (I'm not saying it all hinged on my letter - I'm just saying He needs His kids to hold these spaces at times). He needs people who take things like this VERY seriously ... who feel the full wait of what they are doing ... who can feel compassion for the guilty while demanding justice be served to the victim. That is who He is... That is who He needs His kids to be. That is the space I held this week.
As I stood before the judge to read my letter, there were tears in my eyes as I requested that appropriate consequences be given to the husband for his actions. My heart was (and is) truly broken over all that has happened. JUSTICE was demanded and was given to my friend who never asked for what she was given. There are no winners here. There is nothing beautiful about this story - yet (I believe there will be one day). In that moment the Father showed me something...
That is how He feels when we must bare the consequences of our actions - our sin. His heart breaks. He feels (I believe) that same physical reaction that my body felt in that moment. In that moment the whole of my being was screaming. I didn't want any of it to be reality, but it was - and because it was, JUSTICE was demanded. That heartbreak is what drove Jesus to the cross for us.
Jesus knew that the consequences for our actions would be eternal separation from Him, and that wasn't acceptable. When JUSTICE was demanded for our actions - our sins, He took our consequences for us - death. He loves us so much that it was preferable to Him to take our place than to be separated from us forever. He wants us! His love for us required that He take our place. (If you don't know Him yet, I'd love to introduce you! He's been waiting for you.) This knowledge leaves me completely undone and in awe of Him - all over again.
A couple of more thoughts...
Micah 6:8 says, "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
This verse as been playing over and over in my mind the last 48 hours. I've walked in out in ways I never dreamed I would... "do JUSTICE". I have a much cleared understanding of its meaning, and it's a humbling thing - one that I do not take lightly.
It is my sincerest hope that healing happens in my friend's lives that have been shattered; that years from now everyone involved will be able to look back and see God's hand at work. I'm looking forward to seeing the beauty He brings of it all - if it is allowed to happen (free will is still at play here). My prayers are with them.
Friends, I know that this post is a lot heavier that some of my other ones, but sometimes life is heavy. But even in this space, He is here. I felt the full weight of the task at hand, but was not afraid because I'm His kid and I was doing what He needed me to do. As He always does, He gave me what I needed when I needed it to do what needed to be done - He will do the same for you.
Much love.
