Walking His Call

It seems that recently I have had quite a few people tell me how strong they feel I am, and I never quite know how to respond.  In the silence that follows the statement, I'm thinking of all of the reasons - all of the circumstances - all of the life experiences I have gone through to make me that way. Famous last words (from around the time God called me into ministry [in the year 2000], while sitting on my bathroom floor in England - because that is the only "quiet" a mother of 2 small boys gets): "Wouldn't it be great if I could learn from the life experiences of others, instead of having to walk any of the hard stuff out myself?"  Ha!  I feel like I might as well have said, "Lord, open up the floodgates of adversity and dump them on my head!"   At the ripe age of 28 I had no idea what was about to come, the journey I was embarking on or the challenges that lay ahead. Yes, somedays I am strong.  I can feel the hard won strength coursing th

I have always (well, since becoming a mother) been proud of my fierce momma's heart.  I love my kids (all three: Jon, David and Ash) passionately and make no apologies for it - NONE.  After all, God gave this heart - the roots of which are in His own character.  He fiercely looks after His own ( Please read Psalm 18) . I thank the Lord for the gift of my children.  They are such blessings from Him.  That He chose me to steward their hearts leaves me in complete awe.   But, is it possible that my momma's heart could become my "enemy"?   (Enemy: something that harms or threatens someone.) Yes - I do believe it can.  As a matter of fact I do believe it has at times. "How?", you ask... If I can't release my kids into my Savior's care... If I can't entrust them to Him... If I can't say, "Thy will be done"... If I have a death-grip on my worries over them... If I can't live in peace because of all the "what-ifs&q

The Lord has been rocking my world over the last 24 hours with this word: "He's the One who never leaves the one behind." It's a beautiful line in a song we sang at church last night, but it goes beyond being a beautiful lyric.  HE DOESN'T - WON'T - LEAVE THE ONE (or us) BEHIND.  He just won't. With the help of Canva.com I created the above image last night as I was processing what He was telling me.  Then this morning I was spending time with Him in the book of Luke and came to chapter 8 verses 26-38.  Here is it: Jesus Restores a Demon-Possessed Man 26  They sailed to the region of the Gerasenes, which is across the lake from Galilee.   27  When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs.   28  When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me,  Jesus, So

I give you this:  Unless you have lived in a bubble all of you life (and sometimes even then) you are going to have some baggage that you carry around.  Even the most diligent of folks - those who work hard to not live in a place of brokenness - have some baggage.  A lot of times we aren't even aware it's there until it raises its ugly head and makes itself known. I am one of those diligent folks who works to not live in brokenness. I know what it is like to live there and made a decision years ago to not live in hurt, un-forgiveness, bitterness or brokenness.  But in that conscience choice - the choice to "get over things" - I find that there is often times residue left behind from the root that has been removed. I found a little bit of residue recently - through some communication with a dear friend of mine.  She asked me for something (which I gave her).  It was my honest - said in love - opinion on something near and dear to her.  After I gave her what she had a

I will glory in the cross. In other words, "I declare the distinctive, significant beauty of that old rugged cross where my Savior died. For without it - had it not held my Savior - I would be completely lost." This time of year we sing songs about the cross and read scriptures about Jesus' crucifixion and can even watch it play out before our eyes thanks to script writers. But is year I find it grabbing my heart in a new way.  I've been reading through the gospels the last couple of months and am now in the book of John.  Three times I've read about my Savior's sacrifice and I'm about to read it again.  I am forced to look hard at what He did - all that He went through - so we could be with Him.  It was all for us... All we have to do is believe. Throughout John the common thread is "believe". Just believe. Believe He is who He says He is.  Those who believe receive - eternal life... Light... Salvation... Healing... Freedom... And with all of th

This is a tough one for me to write, and its a long time coming.  It is something I don't talk about - ever - except in very close circles.  Like my husband close.  It has been, as I have seen it, as blight on my person...a negative.  Something that has made me less valuable as a person.  But the Lord in His beautiful way, is changing my perspective on things, and as I do, I'm sharing this journey with you - I know I'm not alone in this. There is a line in the movie "Cool Runnings" that says: "If you aren't enough without it [speaking of an Olympic gold medal], you'll never be enough with it." This line has been playing over and over in my head of late.  You see - I don't have a college degree.  I don't even have any college credits.  In this world where having a college degree has become the end all be all of human existence - or so it seems sometimes (especially if you don't have one), this fact about me has become an a

As I was sitting in ministry staff meeting today the Holy Spirit struck me with something (He does that sometimes 😄) that I very much needed to hear... "Sometimes God will give us what we are begging Him for, even if it is not what we are supposed to have.  Just as He gave the children of Israel the King they were begging Him for.  Maybe the thing we are begging for is down the road - we know that was the case with the Israelites, but we aren't supposed to have it yet.  If that happens (if He gives us what we are begging for) we will be "settling" for something less than perfect for us.  Are we (am I) demanding a king, when God is trying to be just that for us - our King?  Don't pull toward yourself something He doesn't have for you right now.  Settle in where He has you and be content.  Grace and favor come from - are found in - that place." While on this quest, this determined walk to pursue God's plan, purpose and call on our lives we ca