To Be or Not To Be...Offended
Matthew 16: 24-25
Then Jesus told His disciples, "If any one would come after me, let him DENY himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake WILL find it. (emphasis mine)
You cannot be in right relationship with God if you refuse to lay down your rights; even to the point of laying them down when you've been wronged - been offended. [Offense means, something that causes a person hurt, anger or upset.] Carrying around an offense does not injure the one who offended you; it does, however, deeply injure you. It keeps the wound open, it drives a wedge between you and God, and it makes your heart hard. The only way, in my experience, to begin to heal is to repent (yep, that's the word/action needed here) of your faults in the matter. "What faults?!?", you ask. "I was the one who was injured!", you say. Your fault, dear one (and I speak out of my own experience), is un-forgiveness and, quite possibly, hate. The Bible is very clear (no sugar coating here) that God cannot forgive your sins if you don't forgive the sins that have been committed against you. The fault, on your part, could also be hating the offender; Jesus likens hate to murder - OUCH! Each situation, laden with offense, will have different challenges attached to it. We need to allow the Lord to examine our hearts, so we know where we have missed the mark with Him.
So how? How do I lay offenses to the side (and not pick them up again), especially when I'm feeling buried under an avalanche of them? The answer I've found...Go straight to the Father. After all, that is what He is waiting for you to do. Name your offenses and lay them at His feet. [It may be beneficial to do this in some physical way, if your brain is more visually oriented] Let the blood of His Son cover over them. Ask Him to forgive you of your un-forgiveness and hate and whatever else may be there; only a truly repentant heart can restore right relationship with God. Then ask Him to give you love (true and abiding love) for your offender. The Bible tells us to love our enemy, and do good to those who harm us.
This "formula", if you will, is not set in stone, and must be used as a guideline - not a hard and fast rule. The end goal must remain paramount; that goal is right relationship with the Father. You cannot reflect His image if you hold on to and nurture offenses in your heart. The only element of the "formula" that must stay the same is a truly repentant heart.
Should they (these offenses) raise their ugly heads again and ask to be picked back up, remind them that they are covered by the precious blood of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and give them back to God. Picking them back up would be giving the enemy of your soul sure-footing in your heart, and your don't want him there.
Offenses are sometimes very real and painful (sometimes, merely imagined...but that is a different topic for a different day), and they change us at a core level. It is up to us - using the free will given us - to decide what change they will make in our hearts. Will the change be love or hate, good or evil? Which path will your choose to walk?
In Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" he says, "It is your individuality that refuses to be reconciled to your brother. God wants to bring you into union with Himself, but unless you are willing to give up your right to yourself, He cannot."
Then Jesus told His disciples, "If any one would come after me, let him DENY himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake WILL find it. (emphasis mine)
You cannot be in right relationship with God if you refuse to lay down your rights; even to the point of laying them down when you've been wronged - been offended. [Offense means, something that causes a person hurt, anger or upset.] Carrying around an offense does not injure the one who offended you; it does, however, deeply injure you. It keeps the wound open, it drives a wedge between you and God, and it makes your heart hard. The only way, in my experience, to begin to heal is to repent (yep, that's the word/action needed here) of your faults in the matter. "What faults?!?", you ask. "I was the one who was injured!", you say. Your fault, dear one (and I speak out of my own experience), is un-forgiveness and, quite possibly, hate. The Bible is very clear (no sugar coating here) that God cannot forgive your sins if you don't forgive the sins that have been committed against you. The fault, on your part, could also be hating the offender; Jesus likens hate to murder - OUCH! Each situation, laden with offense, will have different challenges attached to it. We need to allow the Lord to examine our hearts, so we know where we have missed the mark with Him.
So how? How do I lay offenses to the side (and not pick them up again), especially when I'm feeling buried under an avalanche of them? The answer I've found...Go straight to the Father. After all, that is what He is waiting for you to do. Name your offenses and lay them at His feet. [It may be beneficial to do this in some physical way, if your brain is more visually oriented] Let the blood of His Son cover over them. Ask Him to forgive you of your un-forgiveness and hate and whatever else may be there; only a truly repentant heart can restore right relationship with God. Then ask Him to give you love (true and abiding love) for your offender. The Bible tells us to love our enemy, and do good to those who harm us.
This "formula", if you will, is not set in stone, and must be used as a guideline - not a hard and fast rule. The end goal must remain paramount; that goal is right relationship with the Father. You cannot reflect His image if you hold on to and nurture offenses in your heart. The only element of the "formula" that must stay the same is a truly repentant heart.
Should they (these offenses) raise their ugly heads again and ask to be picked back up, remind them that they are covered by the precious blood of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and give them back to God. Picking them back up would be giving the enemy of your soul sure-footing in your heart, and your don't want him there.
Offenses are sometimes very real and painful (sometimes, merely imagined...but that is a different topic for a different day), and they change us at a core level. It is up to us - using the free will given us - to decide what change they will make in our hearts. Will the change be love or hate, good or evil? Which path will your choose to walk?
In Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" he says, "It is your individuality that refuses to be reconciled to your brother. God wants to bring you into union with Himself, but unless you are willing to give up your right to yourself, He cannot."
